In Brunei, You're Too Fat To Use The Intertubes

Short Version:
Brunei is probably more exciting outside the International Transit Lounge.

Long Version:
We had, essentially, no idea what happens in the Kingdom of Brunei before we got there. The view from the porthole as we flew in gave us some clues; they spend their time puttng gold domes/roofs/canopies on buildings. Having subsequently spent several hours in the International Transit Lounge at Bandar Seri Begwan Airport, I can now report that other things that happen in the Kingdom of Brunei include:
- people arrive on aeroplanes
- people leave on aeroplanes
- people wait for a aeroplanes to arrive so they can leave on them
- white birds of the heron/crane variety browse the grassy verges of the runways when aeroplanes are not howling hither and yon upon them
- people attempt to get the internet to work on the "Free Internet! (Brought to you by [sponsor's name removed]!)" terminals... The very short man in the red shirt succeeded. The bald guy with the neck-beard failed. The advance contingent of the Thai student horde succeeded. The really ugly woman who queue-jumped me* failed. I failed. The many-chinned British-looking man failed. The irritating Australian boy** failed. The very short man in the blue shirt failed. The rearguard of the Thai student horde succeeded. I thought for a time that perhaps it was a site-related success criteria at work, but I had a crack at the facebook page of one of the previous users and had no joy. Possibly a weight sensor in the stool that blocked anyone over 50kg.

The fish in the fountain pool were pretty cool, the aircon was cranked to the point that the window glass was covered in condensation, and the intercom announcements were so quiet as to be borderline inaudible. Certainly not loud enough to be heard over the nincompoopery of the Thai student horde. Luckily, we had a Thai student horde to follow to our Bangkok-bound aircraft, where we found ourselves crammed into the kind of seat-space you'd expect on a sub-hour domestic flight in NZ. That kind of sucked, but more so for Janine's neighbour, who was so fat that he had difficulty lowering his tray-table, which pretty much bisected him once it was wedged in place. He also didn't read, watch visual programming, or otherwise indulge in any form of extraneous entertainment throughout the 4-hour flight. Either a great imagination at work, or... not.







* = She felt the hate, I assure you

** = Seriously, just fuck off, you little twerp